There comes a time in every console’s life when it’s time to say goodbye. Today we bid farewell to the Wii U and remember fondly it’s brightest moments.
Music: “Wii U-logy” by Ryan Van Liere | Download MP3
The fighter breathed in slowly in the darkened locker room.
His eyes drew to the hallway down which the arena loomed.
He’d trained for this very moment for innumerable days.
He let his breath out slowly as he also dropped his gaze.
His past had come to haunt him; or rather, his father’s did.
It was in the old man’s shadow that up ‘til now he hid.
He rose from the wooden bench as he slammed the locker door.
His mind was clear and focused as he slowly crossed the floor.
His father was a great man; one of the best there’d ever been.
He’d proudly held the people’s flag for years and years on end.
The women and children’s love he kept, the men’s respect he’d earned.
But even a champion’s fire burns out; a lesson he finally learned.
And now his boy had come of age, his turn had come at last
To earn the title for himself, to honor his father’s past.
Any time he’d walk the street the people called his name.
They smiled as they recalled his dad and said “You’ll do the same!”
He heard them calling for him as he traveled down the hall.
His pace was slow and steady as cheers echoed off the walls.
But as he plodded down the corridor that led down to the ring,
The distance to his destination got further, so it seemed.
He started to jog faster ‘til he ran as if he fled.
The image of his father was burned into his head.
As he neared the final door that led to the battleground,
He’d realized he could no longer hear the cheering of the crowd.
He swung the door wide open and he stepped into the light.
Instead of the cheering fans expected he saw a very different sight.
The crowd was filled with anger, spitefulness, and scorn.
The faces that used to smile at him now a scowl wore.
The booing increased with every step as he approached the field.
He looked across at his opponent who rose up from his kneel.
The enemy wore full armor and a horned helmet on his head.
He lifted his oddly-shaped sword. “I’ve looked forward to this”, he said.
The warrior that stood before him was the one who’d succeeded his Pa.
The boy took his battle stance, he set his eyes and jaw.
“I’ll prove them wrong,” he determined, “Today’s my day to shine!”
The crowed fell deadly silent ‘til they heard the air horn whine.
The boy immediately charged the knight, his weapon flashed to life.
The knight was ready for the attack and deflected with his knife.
“Is that all you have?” The knight laughed. “I expected more from you.”
The knight lunged with his weapon aloft, the boy’s head which to hew.
The boy quickly dodged the strike with blindingly quick speed.
“One thing you didn’t count on: my Pa wasn’t quick like me!”
He continued to rush around the ring, too fast to keep track,
Until the knight took a well-aimed swing that knocked him on his back.
Light was all that he could see as he lay there on the floor.
The knight drew near and placed his blade upon the boy’s core.
He kneeled down next to him, and with a look of sadness in his eyes,
He said, “I’m… disappointed.” And then began to rise.
The air was still in the Colosseum and the knight just turned and walked.
The seats were slowly emptied. No one dared to talk.
The boy just lay there on the mat. He knew everybody’d left.
One word stuck in his heart, and like a foil it cleft.
This is just a plain old session of gaming with the Crew! No Let’s Play, no glitching, and no agenda. Sit back and enjoy! Help make TBC better! twobuttoncrew.com/survey
Shot by Alex Campbell
“Reformat” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Some of these were really cool ideas… but they just weren’t cool enough.
Nintendo has tried many gimmicks in their day: some have worked, others… Well, we’re talking about them today! Help make TBC better! twobuttoncrew.com/survey
Shot by Alex Campbell
“Reformat” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Sometimes you do something so often that you just forget how to show.
If you thought “Open Air Adventure” was a specific genre, wait till you hear what we’ve done to the rest of the franchise! Help make TBC better! twobuttoncrew.com/survey
Shot by Alex Campbell
“Reformat” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
You didn’t think we would miss doing an episode on the biggest cultural phenomenon since What Does the Fox Say, did you? We are here to talk all things Pokemon, Go, Niantic, Gyms, Servers, and more.
Shot by Alex Campbell
“Reformat” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
BoxBoxBoy! is the sequel to the hit downloadable puzzle game BoxBoy! for the 3DS that expands on the original, quite literally, as this time around you use two sets of boxes instead of one. While no prior experience with the original is needed, it really helps as the mechanics you learn over the course of an entire game you learn in a few levels. You’ll still be hopping on and throwing boxes, along with hooking onto ledges and snaking your way through narrow paths, and it’s all still a lot of fun.
Hooked on a feeling.
The only new idea is creating two sets of boxes, but that’s okay as it completely changes the way you have to solve the puzzles and sometimes significantly ramps up the difficulty. There’s still plenty of switches, spikes, and lazers to deal with and it definitely had me stumped for a while on more than one occasion. There are usually a few levels in a row where you use the same mechanic in increasingly difficult puzzles, only to ditch it for a long while and come back to it when you’ve forgotten about it. Absolutely fantastic level design and it made feel dumb for not realizing the solution much soon than I had. There are bonus levels in which you replay chunks of levels you previously completed except this time with either the ninja or the bunny costume from the first game, but you have a lot less boxes at your disposal.
Two sets of boxes, twice the challenge.
The collectible crowns are back once again. If you’re not familiar, think hidden coins from Mario, except you have a limit of boxes you can create until it disappears. Being the OCD gamer I am, I had to get all of them, and a few were extremely difficult. It adds a lot to the way you approach levels and to the overall replay-ability.
BoxBoxBoy! really stacks up to the competition!
The more crowns you get, the more coins you get at the end of every level, which can be spent in the games shop. There you are able to purchase new costumes, short a quirky comics, and music from the game. All of the costumes you unlock from the original BoxBoy! transfer over too, which is a neat little addition.
There’s quite a lot of content for the price and is a great buy for the puzzle and platformer fan alike. While I recommend playing the original game first, this is a sequel that lives up to the original and shouldn’t be missed.
There was one clip that didn’t make it in because there was a tree between Scott and the camera, but he did his Arwing impression and flew right inbetween that Instagram girl and her poor boyfriend!
Join us for a trip through the Lylat system! We are speaking to strangers ONLY on Star Fox quotes!
Shot by Alex Campbell
“Reformat” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
WARNING:The following blog post contains spoilers for Metroid: Other Mand Metroid Fusion.
It’s tough being a Metroid fan. After a promising start, the series goes on hiatus for nearly a decade. Then after a resurgence and several great additions to the franchise, Metroid: Other M comes out and sends everyone into a tizzy. Cue another hiatus, and then after years of waiting, Nintendo finally announces a new entry into the series…and everyone loses it all over again. I don’t particularly like controversies, they have an odd propensity to throw gentlemanly discourse out the window and reduce (presumably) otherwise intelligent individuals to their embarrassingly base, vitriolic nature. That said, there is an issue regarding Metroid: Other M that seems to have slipped through the cracks, and with the aesthetically controversial Metriod Prime: Federation Force releasing this August, I think now would be a good time to get it off my chest and discuss what I think Metroid: Other M‘s real flaw is.
People have criticized Other M for a variety of things: potentially sexist undertones, awkward non-analog controls, Samus’s emotionless voice acting, etc. I, however, either didn’t notice or didn’t mind most of the commonly cited issues when I first played the game. No, there was something else. Something I couldn’t ignore. Something that kept scratching at the back of my mind in the same annoying fashion a house cat lazily paws at its sleeping owner’s face. Something that is never brought up when discussing the game’s flaws. Something that kept running through my moderately attractive head every time I played the game: I’ve seen this before.
To put it bluntly, Metroid: Other M is a rehash of Metroid Fusion.
No seriously, there are just too many similarities. Oddly enough, despite all of the discussion the game has (shine) sparked, no one ever discusses the Goyagma in the room and mentions how suspiciously similar the two games are, even when they’re listing reasons they don’t think the game is good. The only time I’ve seen it brought up was a forum post made shortly after the game was released, and that was quickly dismissed by the site’s other members. So let’s switch to our scan visors and take a closer look.
The Setting
Both games are set shortly after the masterpiece that is Super Metroid. The similarities between settings are more than chronological, however.
In Fusion, the game starts with our girl Sammy escorting a team of xeno-biologists on a mission to survey the metroid home-world, SR-388. After mercilessly blasting a hornoad that could’ve made for a valuable specimen, the creature reveals itself to be an X-parasite in disguise. Samus is infected, hospitalized, and eventually saved by a vaccine made from a DNA sample from the now dead last metroid. Deciding not to question the medical team’s severe misuse of the term vaccine, Samus immediately gets back to work and heads out on her next mission: to investigate a distress signal coming from the BSL (Biological Space Laboratories) Research Station.
The BSL Research Station is a space station-based research facility designed with the study of alien lifeforms in mind. It is equipped with top-of-the-line containment facilities that recreate the environments of the creatures that live in them. Each of these areas are referred to as sectors, are numbered one through six, and recreate a different biome (SR-388, jungle, desert/volcanic, aquatic, ice, and nocturnal).
The B.S.L. Research Station serves as the setting of Metroid Fusion.
Other M opens with Samus in a Federation quarantine bay being attended to by Federation medics after her harrowing escape at the end of Super Metroid. After a dry internal monologue and debriefing, Samus is off on her own to…I don’t know, hunt bounties? Anyway, she picks up a “baby’s cry” distress signal and—being the mercenary bounty-hunter that she is—goes to assist with no promise of financial compensation what-so-ever.
Upon arriving at the source of the transmission, Samus finds herself at the Bottle Ship. The Bottle Ship is a space station-based research facility designed with the study of alien lifeforms in mind. It is equipped with top-of-the-line containment facilities that recreate the environments of the creatures that live in them. Each of these areas are referred to as sectors, are numbered one through three, and recreate a different biome (jungle, volcanic, and ice). Sound familiar?
The Bottle Ship serves as the setting of Metroid Fus–OTHER M! I was going to say Other M!
[They are] equipped with top-of-the-line containment facilities that recreate the environments of the creatures that live in them. Each of these areas are referred to as sectors, are numbered […], and recreate a different biome.
To top it all off, even the chamber from which the sectors are accessed are the same: a large room situated below the crew quarters and command center with color coordinated elevators.
The Antagonists
Both games also have similar antagonists. Anyone who’s played Fusion can tell you about the paranoia inducing terror that is SA-X. Heck, I still sometimes have nightmares about it. For readers who don’t know, SA-X is the X-Parasite’s mimicry of Samus: it has all of her powers, her knowledge, and—most of all—her suit. Throughout the game, it wanders the BSL, constantly attempting to sabotage Samus’s mission. It destroys machinery, doorways, it even tries to induce a meltdown in the station’s reactor. While the being makes a few onscreen appearances, it usually sticks to the shadows. Throughout the game, SA-X is a threat that seems to be around every corner, just out of sight.
Metroid Fusion is rated E? Man, when is Nintendo going to stop making kid’s games?!
Other M has a similar enemy: the Deleter. The Deleter is a mysterious entity that operates in the shadows. He/she/it constantly attempts to thwart Samus and her allies’ efforts to get to the bottom of what went down on the Bottle Ship by sabotaging equipment, jamming communications, and even systematically eliminating Adam Malkovich’s soldiers one-by-one. Trying to identify and stop the Deleter is one of the major plot elements of the game, much like stopping SA-X is in Fusion.
Surely, uncovering this criminal mastermind’s true identity will be the ultimate payoff!
But Other M doesn’t just have similar antagonists to Fusion, it even goes so far as to copy one of Fusion‘s most iconic bosses: Nightmare. Nightmare is a large, gravity-warping bio-weapon that gave Samus the gravity suit in Fusion. Its battle is one of the longest and most difficult in the game, and as to be expected the fight occurs near the end of the game. The boss returns in Other M, and just like in Fusion is fought near the end of the game. The only real difference is that Fusion bothers to build it up as a major threat, while Other M just shoe horns it into the game.
And then there’s Ridley…who’s in almost every game, so he isn’t worth mentioning. Moving on!
Adam Malkovich
Yet another of the similarities between Fusion and Other M is Adam and his role. In Fusion, Samus’s new ship comes with an on board A.I. that she nicknames Adam after a former commanding officer. Adam is Samus’s guide throughout the game, offering objectives and providing suit upgrades. Adam is eventually revealed to be an uploaded personality and is—in fact—the real (artificially simulated) Adam Malkovich. The real (not artificially-simulated) Adam appears in Other M. In that game he points out objectives to Samus and authorizes use of her various suit features, similar to in Fusion.
The two games also both depict him as potentially untrustworthy. Fusion shows that Adam, and the Federation at large, have a hidden agenda that they’re keeping a secret from Samus. This can also be said of Other M, though it is more ambiguously framed. Adam clearly knows more about the situation at hand than Samus, which is a major source of tension in the game’s story. Other M even goes so far as to depict Adam as a candidate for the true identity of the Deleter. All of this conspiracy mumbo-jumbo leads to my final point…
Surprise! It’s Full of Metroids!
Both game’s have a secret, hidden sector. It’s full of metroids. The Federation is cloning them. They want to use them as bio-weapons. The secret part of the space station is jettisoned into space. Samus fights an adult metroid.
Imagine this in 3D and then replace SA-X with Adam and you basically have what happens in Other M.
Despite what my very critical overview may suggest, I rather enjoyed Metroid: Other M. It certainly had a number of problems, but the end product still had tight controls, good gameplay, and great production values; overall an enjoyable experience. Unfortunately, as a prequel to Fusion, it’s an abysmal mess that introduces many, many plot-holes. I’d go so far to say it serves as a cautionary tale of how not to do a prequel. All of the similarities make Samus’s reaction to the events of Fusion completely unbelievable. She acts like it’s her first time stumbling across a secret metroid cloning project, or dealing with an enigmatic saboteur, or fighting Nightmare! It’s almost as if Other M was an attempt to rewrite Fusion in hopes of removing the latter from the series continuity like a lab full of metroids from a space-station. But I’ll admit, that’s a bit of a stretch. It’s not like the Big N is some sort of large, secretive collective that would conspire to do something like repeatedly clone Metroids to further their own ends, right?
Glen is a lifelong Nintendo fan whose first foray into the Metroid Franchise was Metroid Fusion. His love of video games has inspired him to pursue a career in computer programming and is currently studying to get a masters in computer science. And yes, he really does sometimes have nightmares about SA-X.
What do we call these things? What should we call them? Does it matter? It’s the great genre debate! … NOTE: Upon further research, Kyle Bosman was referring to Miyamoto’s words when he said that Star Fox guard “defied genre”. It seems as if he is as confused at Nintendo’s redefinition of genre as we are. So, basically, ignore anything we say about Kyle Bosman in this video, as it was under false pretenses. You’re great, Bosman. Keep doing your thing.
Shot by Alex Campbell
“Reformat” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
It’s a special 4th of July episode (not really – but do watch until the end)! The Crew continues the treacherous trek through Chariot’s slippery ice world.
Shot by Alex Campbell
“Reformat” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/