2016 Game of the Year Awards (Satire)

Can we please just have the Nintendo Switch and move on? D:


Oh 2016, we will miss you… somewhat. It sure wasn’t the best year for Nintendo fans, but maybe it wasn’t the worst, either. (?) We just couldn’t quite take the year seriously enough to try and hand out awards for certain categories like we did in the past, so this year we are taking a completely sarcastic approach. None of these categories that get awards mean anything, but they did get a kick out of us.

Shot by Alex Campbell

“Escape the Premises” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
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Why Nintendo Games Retain Value

$50 for Metroid: Other M. Today. You read that right!


Have you ever noticed that the price for Nintendo games just DON’T ever drop? They sit on store shelves for years and cost the same amount that they did at launch time. It’s kind of crazy, especially when compared to the rest of the industry. Nintendo also just released their first Mario game on mobile, and it costs a whopping $10 – incredibly high compared to most of the bargain offerings on that platform. How is it that Nintendo is able to stand apart from the competition and charge more?

Shot by Alex Campbell

“Escape the Premises” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
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What We Want: Smash Tournament Edition

We’d really appreciate it if there were some new default settings… LIKE STOCK MATCHES! GAAAAAAHHHHHH!


We enter a lot of Super Smash Bros. tournaments, and take it from us: the setup is an absolute pain. Oh, we gamers adapt. We make it work. But Nintendo could sure make things easier on their most hardcore fans by throwing us a bone in the form of a tournament special edition of their most competitive franchise: Super Smash Bros. And think about it – this is the perfect time for just such a revision to come into being; as Nintendo is theoretically ramping up their 2014 version for a Switch re-release.

Shot by Alex Campbell

“Escape the Premises” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
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Using the Worst Controller Ever

“Get him! Stab him! Block him!” Wow, Simeon is the next Doc Luis!


Have you ever tried swordfighting… with a bowling ball glued to your hand? What about playing table tennis with said bowling ball – how do you think that would go over? These are the exact questions we seek to answer in today’s installment of the Two Button Crew show! We’re taking the absolute worst 3rd party controller ever conceived and trying to progress through a variety of different motion-controlled Wii challenges. Lend us your strength viewers, and we may just not snap our wrists.

Shot by Alex Campbell

“Escape the Premises” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
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Wii U Tribute – Top 5 Games

It seemed like it was just yesterday; that snowy November day back in 2012. The day I picked up my Wii U, brought it home, opened it, and hooked it up with anticipation and excitement. The Wii brought my family countless hours of joy, so I was expecting this system to get the same type of love. I started with Nintendo Land and then downloaded Little Inferno. Little did I know, Little Inferno would be a fairly accurate representation of what the Wii U would produce. That is; a cold, empty fireplace with short but powerful bursts of fire.  Just beyond 4 years later, and while I write this, I hate to say the system was overall a disappointment for me. That being said, some of my favorite games of all time were released on this system, albeit they were few and far between. Here is my top 5 favorite game list for the Wii U:

Honorable Mentions: Splatoon; Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker; The Legend of Zelda: The Windwaker HD; Super Mario Maker

 

  1. Kirby and the Rainbow Curse

 

The number 5 spot was a pretty even tie between Kirby and the honorable mentions. Any game could have gotten it. The reason I chose Kirby was because I fell in love with the clay style visuals and controls the second I started playing. Not to mention, this game really took advantage of the unique gamepad the Wii U had to offer. Not too many games took advantage of it, which is a shame.

 

  1. Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze

 

The Donkey Kong Country series is one of my all-time favorites, and I like this entry just as much as any of the games in the original trilogy for the Super Nintendo. The visuals are astonishing, and the soundtrack is beautifully composed by original Donkey Kong Country Composer David Wise. These two things come together to make an extremely atmospheric adventure that I still go back to on occasion.

 

  1. Super Smash Bros. Wii U

 

Well, it’s Super Smash Bros. I have spent countless hours playing this game with friends, and it has brought me plenty of fun times and memories. The control scheme was tweaked and tightened from the Wii version, and this, in my opinion, makes it easier to pick up and play.

 

  1. Mario Kart 8

 

Mario Kart 8 takes everything that makes the series great and amplifies it with great tracks, an assortment of new characters, a brand new physics mechanic, and DLC. My only gripe with this one is the lack of battle tracks, but it looks like the Switch is going to pick up the slack in that department with a set of battle maps, old and new alike with Mario Kart 8 Deluxe.

 

  1. Pikmin 3

 

My all-time favorite game for the Wii U. As I was playing this game, I felt as though I was a part of the world. It may not be the longest game out there, but as a self-proclaimed completionist, I found myself constantly coming back for more. Even the bingo battle multiplayer is a blast, and there are a number of ways to win, which only adds to the strategy. If you own a Wii U and have not played this game, please do yourself a favor.

 


Well, those are my favorites of the Wii U. I would love to hear what yours are. In the meantime, let’s raise a glass to the Wii U. Cheers.

Now bring on the Switch!

Fire Emblem Direct News

Fire Emblem Switch, coming 2018. Just thought you’d like to know.


If the Switch Presentation wasn’t enough Nintendo news for you, you’re in luck. We were graced with an additional live stream, this time focusing wholly on the Fire Emblem series of games. In this themed Nintendo Direct, 4 Fire Emblem games were revealed, 3 of which launch this year! Just insanity. We discuss each and every reveal along with how we feel about the upcoming FE titles. Watch our reactions and then sound off in the comments – which Fire Emblem game are you most looking forward to?

Shot by Alex Campbell

“Escape the Premises” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
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Dank Nintendo Memes

Sorry Karen – we still love you, but you already got your own entire video.


Memes, memes, a magical fruit. They make the Internet go round! Well, we’ve gathered the best of the best when it comes to the world of Nintendo. We’ve identified the funniest, the truest, and the in some cases the ugliest Nintendo memes to make you laugh. Don’t scour Google Images, don’t search Reddit – everything you need is right here. We’ve done the “work” for you. Sit back and relax some good old internet culture humor!

Shot by Alex Campbell

“Escape the Premises” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
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What’s At the Nintendo NY Store?

Tickets to NY, please? This is somewhere we can conceivably hit up before our flight to Japan for Super Nintendo World…


It sounds like a dream: an entire multi-level store dedicated to our favorite brand, Nintendo. But it’s not a dream – it used to be the Pokemon Center, then it was Nintendo World, and now it’s Nintendo NY. And in case you were wondering, it’s based in New York. This magical retailer is run by Nintendo staff, and is decorated to the nines in Nintendo themed goodness! Baby teethers? Check. Games playable before they are released? Check. Guest appearances from famous Nintendo staff? Check. We need to visit this place.

Shot by Alex Campbell

“Escape the Premises” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
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Switch Presentation – Knee Jerk Reactions!

The hype train was real… it barrelled through here and plowed us over. Man oh man!


Catch the TBC Direct LIVE STREAM tomorrow

Scott is hot off the Switch hype from Nintendo’s full presentation! What a whirlwind of announcements. This is his knee-jerk reactions, recorded literally minutes after Nintendo’s live stream ended. He’s pretty happy about the console’s features, hardware, release date, and games… but some of those prices? OUCH! What did you think of Nintendo’s announcements made from the stage in Kyoto?
Shot by Alex Campbell
“Escape the Premises” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
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The Secret of the Switch

We did it. We finally know what the Switch is. We had a minor reveal late last year that provided a few answers, but it also brought up a lot more questions. There’s one thing in the long road of the Nintendo NX that completely astounds me: how on Earth did Nintendo keep a secret this long?

How did Nintendo keep a secret this long?

In this day and age, and with all the technology and leaks that happen constantly, it’s absolutely amazing that while a general idea of what Nintendo was cooking up was touched upon, up until the presentation we were still left guessing. So many times come E3 big reveals are ruined, but not this time. It was rumored that the Switch had a touch screen and motion controls, but we only now just confirmed it. We still had a few surprises that weren’t even guessed upon such as HD rumble, colored Joy-cons and the games for the Switch (excluding officially announced titles).

A lot of this was a mystery until less then two months from launch.

I don’t know how they did it, but I hope it’s a trend that continues. I loved being left in the dark. Not while it was happening, mind you, but it only strengthened the hype after the fact. Here’s hoping E3 can bring as much excitement and anticipation as the console reveal. Now excuse my insomnia while I wait (impatiently) until March 3rd…

TBC Direct: Switch Presentation!

Too bad Simeon had to go deal with that stranger from another dimension… in other news, Glen’s sharp face and soothing voice make their internet debut!


We’re here to discuss every aspect of Nintendo’s full Switch unveiling from the January Presentation! Launch details? Games? Hidden features? We’ll discuss every bit. Jump in the chat and let us know what you think of Nintendo’s new console coming in March!

Shot by Alex Campbell

“Escape the Premises” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
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Top 10 Switch Bombshell Announcements

If we can live through ten bombshells like these ones, we can face just about anything.


For a full hour last week, Nintendo streamed live from the stage in Kyoto and presented us with announcement after announcement regarding their new home console, Nintendo Switch. We learned the console’s price, release date, online capabilities, Joy-Con technology, and much, much more. But which of these huge pieces of news do we regard as the most important? And which announcements are we remembering fondly, rather than with a sour taste? Watch this video for a complete rundown on the ten most important moments of the January Switch Presentation!

Shot by Alex Campbell

“Escape the Premises” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
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Hilarious Wii Slang

Wii would like to slang.


You thought Wii-related jokes had run their course? Not even close. A decade later, Simeon and Scott are revisiting the issue with an enhanced vocabulary of Wii puns and slang that you’ve never even imagined. The Nintendo Wii seemed like it was getting a big downgrade when it received its official name. The codename, Revolution, seemed much more fitting. But if Wii is responsible for allowing us these kinds of puns, we daresay that it was all worth it.

Shot by Alex Campbell

“Escape the Premises” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
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Beat it Blind: Dr. Mario (NES Classic)

We’re gonna be so pro by the end of the series! eSports, come at us, bro!


Dr. Mario history runs deep in Scott’s family. Almost enough to where he could beat levels with his eyes closed by himself – but not quite! He needs a little bit of Simeon’s help, and vice versa! Today the daring duo takes on an incredible challenge, to clear away viruses without the use of their eyes and only the guiding voice of their companion to help. Timing is very important in this puzzle game, and colors MUST be matched if success is to be attained. Lend the Crew your power as you watch – and enjoy!

Shot by Alex Campbell

“Escape the Premises” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
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What Genres are Nintendo Horrible At?

Trying to make our episode titles a little more SENSATIONAL!


We all know Nintendo loves their platformers – that’s the genre that they specialize in. But when they are the company that’s responsible for servicing fans of all kind that use their hardware (because third parties aren’t historically the most supportive), there are some genres that receive the cold shoulder. That neglect is either due to games with poor or questionable execution, or just no games to speak of at all. Have you ever thought about which types of games Nintendo is strong or weak in? Let us run you through a list of all the major genres.

Shot by Alex Campbell

“Escape the Premises” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
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Why is Switch’s Voice Chat Through A Phone App?

Voice chat – real, true, genuine, actual voice chat on a Nintendo system. Someone pinch me.


The Nintendo Switch is taking a little bit different of an approach when it comes to online voice communications… all of that data is going to be funneled through a new mobile app the Nintendo is publishing later in 2017. This is a strange choice, and isn’t something we’ve seen before in the gaming industry. Will it end up being a positive or a negative for those who pick up the new console/portable hybrid? Ryan is here with a Crew Cut to examine all aspects of the issue!

Shot by Alex Campbell

“Escape the Premises” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
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Stolen TBC Episodes

We demand compensation! Or at least a little bit of credit.


You know when you work really hard on something, and then other people steal your ideas and your work? That’s how we feel right now! There are a few channels on YouTube that are uploading videos suspiciously close to ones that we’ve made (and within a suspiciously close time-frame, as well)… If we’ve ever made a video that looks like someone else’s, we promise we would never take your idea – or at the VERY least we would give you credit and drop a link to the original! Can the same courtesy be extended to us?

Shot by Alex Campbell

“Escape the Premises” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
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Ultimate Super Mario Run Challenge

Scott is now taking eSports sponsorship requests… Anyone?


There are three levels in Super Mario Run that can only be unlocked by collecting each and every secret coin of a certain color. These are the three warp pipe levels of yore, and today, Scott will attempt to beat them. Luigi is his character of choice for his high jumps, and each hidden coin must be retrieved before he is allowed to progress to the next secret level. This is the height of challenge in Nintendo’s newest mobile game, so wish him luck and lend him your strength as he attempts the Ultimate Super Mario Run Challenge.

Shot by Alex Campbell

“Escape the Premises” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
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