Today, I endeavor to discover which Nintendo character I identify with. I hope to find the perfect match, one that resonates and rings true. Without further ado…

Mario

I don’t think so. Mario is more like a father figure than an equal. He’s very sporty and multi-talented, which is in contrast to my narrow set of specialized skills. He wears loud clothing (especially in Super Mario Odyssey) and is a brave hero that throws himself into danger without a plan. All around: no. Not at all.

Link

Hyrule’s silent protagonist is a more likely match. He doesn’t waste any breath, which I appreciate, and he is guided by a strong sense of loyalty. Link always tries to do the right thing, and once he has found a noble cause, he applies himself and sees it through. These are all personality traits that I admire and (at least attempt to) share. However, Link is also quite the outdoorsy fellow, and can often be found traversing planes on horseback or scaling imposing mountains. He’s probably too adventurous to be considered my analog.

Donkey Kong

This big brown brute is way too strong to resemble me. He’s bigger, faster, and stronger, too, after all. I am none of those things.
DK is also easily pleased. All he needs is a pile of bananas to be content. First of all, I hate bananas because they make my mouth itchy. Second, I’m not in touch with the “simple pleasures” of life. I require technology, innovation, and the cutting edge. I wouldn’t no what to do with a stack of fruit in the jungle. Donkey kong can keep his lifestyle and I’ll keep mine, thank you very much!

Samus

Another strong contender, because like Link, Samus doesn’t say a whole lot. This is pleasing to my introverted tendencies. We’re both completely happy with alone time; in fact, this bounty hunter pretty much blasts anything alive until it stops moving. She doesn’t spend a lot of time outdoors, and she’s on top of the latest tech. I think we’d get along well.
There’s a pretty big difference that separates us, though. Samus is compassionate, and when push comes to shove, she lets even the most vicious creatures live when it means that their race will be spared. I don’t share that same level of empathy, unfortunately. But she’s currently leading the pack!

Captain Falcon

Captain Falcon enjoys everything I don’t; cars, speeding, rivalries, working out, yelling loudly, taunting people, wearing skin-tight unitards, and I could go on. Suffice it to say: FALCON NO!

Kirby

While I do enjoy eating a lot of food, the similarities end there. I am not round, cute, smiley, or cuddly, and I don’t look like a girl.

Tom Nook

Okay, this is a possibility. I do have an affinity for money, and I enjoy some aspects of business and entrepreneurship. But I hope I don’t match this raccoon’s level of greed, because he’s gone so far as to break child labor laws and employ underage animals at his store. He’s also after your real life $ bills now in Animal Crossing: Pocket Camp. Please tell me that I am not like Tom Nook.

Captain Olimar

He traverses alien planets and commands little living plants around all day (until the annoying timer runs out). I don’t think I’ve ever done anything like this.

Fox McCloud

I’m running out of options here, but Fox is promising. He also likes technology, leads a team, accepts missions and gets them done, etc. He’s got this huge amount of self-confidence and determination though, that I’m not sure I measure up to. Fox also spent a long leg of his life outside the cockpit, galavanting around Dinosaur Planet and acting like a low-rent hero of Hyrule.

However, there was one man (bird) that refused to leave the cockpit…
This guy knows what up. He prefers the air, and that’s where he stays (when he’s not shooting people up in Assault or smacking them silly in Smash Bros.). He has a narrow but deep skillset and can always be relied upon for bombs. He has a quick wit and isn’t afraid to crack a joke even in the face of danger. He appears cold on the outside, but deep down he cares for his friends and is always bummed when they get shot out of the sky. Falco is a loyal, skilled, sarcastic and cool wingman. I am Falco Lombardi!