The Boy and the Knight (A Poem)

The fighter breathed in slowly in the darkened locker room.
His eyes drew to the hallway down which the arena loomed.
He’d trained for this very moment for innumerable days.
He let his breath out slowly as he also dropped his gaze.
His past had come to haunt him; or rather, his father’s did.
It was in the old man’s shadow that up ‘til now he hid.
He rose from the wooden bench as he slammed the locker door.
His mind was clear and focused as he slowly crossed the floor.

His father was a great man; one of the best there’d ever been.
He’d proudly held the people’s flag for years and years on end.
The women and children’s love he kept, the men’s respect he’d earned.
But even a champion’s fire burns out; a lesson he finally learned.
And now his boy had come of age, his turn had come at last
To earn the title for himself, to honor his father’s past.
Any time he’d walk the street the people called his name.
They smiled as they recalled his dad and said “You’ll do the same!”

He heard them calling for him as he traveled down the hall.
His pace was slow and steady as cheers echoed off the walls.
But as he plodded down the corridor that led down to the ring,
The distance to his destination got further, so it seemed.
He started to jog faster ‘til he ran as if he fled.
The image of his father was burned into his head.
As he neared the final door that led to the battleground,
He’d realized he could no longer hear the cheering of the crowd.

He swung the door wide open and he stepped into the light.
Instead of the cheering fans expected he saw a very different sight.
The crowd was filled with anger, spitefulness, and scorn.
The faces that used to smile at him now a scowl wore.
The booing increased with every step as he approached the field.
He looked across at his opponent who rose up from his kneel.
The enemy wore full armor and a horned helmet on his head.
He lifted his oddly-shaped sword. “I’ve looked forward to this”, he said.

The warrior that stood before him was the one who’d succeeded his Pa.
The boy took his battle stance, he set his eyes and jaw.
“I’ll prove them wrong,” he determined, “Today’s my day to shine!”
The crowed fell deadly silent ‘til they heard the air horn whine.
The boy immediately charged the knight, his weapon flashed to life.
The knight was ready for the attack and deflected with his knife.
“Is that all you have?” The knight laughed. “I expected more from you.”
The knight lunged with his weapon aloft, the boy’s head which to hew.

The boy quickly dodged the strike with blindingly quick speed.
“One thing you didn’t count on: my Pa wasn’t quick like me!”
He continued to rush around the ring, too fast to keep track,
Until the knight took a well-aimed swing that knocked him on his back.
Light was all that he could see as he lay there on the floor.
The knight drew near and placed his blade upon the boy’s core.
He kneeled down next to him, and with a look of sadness in his eyes,
He said, “I’m… disappointed.” And then began to rise.

The air was still in the Colosseum and the knight just turned and walked.
The seats were slowly emptied. No one dared to talk.
The boy just lay there on the mat. He knew everybody’d left.
One word stuck in his heart, and like a foil it cleft.

“Disappointed”.

Fate of 3DS Determined Scott’s Thoughts

For some time now, fans of Nintendo have debated what should be done about 3DS:

“Just let it die.”

“Leverage the fanbase! Make more exclusives!”

“KILL IT! KILL IT NOW WITH HOLY FIRE!”

In the March 8th Nintendo Direct, the Big N made their intentions clear:

3DS will continue to receive ports and remakes into 2019.

Absolutely perfect for the younger generation who aren’t old enough to have played the originals.

Captain Toad, Sushi Striker, Luigi’s Mansion, Mario & Luigi, not exclusives. All playable elsewhere. It services the install base but doesn’t lock out gamers who have moved on.

Smash Bros. as a Service Scott’s Thoughts

I expected a port of Super Smash Bros. for Wii U in 2018. Smash development cycles are too long, and we would never get new entries this close together… those were my thoughts entering into the March 8th Nintendo Direct.

I was wrong; it’s a brand new game.

There are still skeptics, or fans who are simply being cautious not to jump to conclusions. But Nintendo laid it out plainly for us:

  • The game has a working title (not simply “Super Smash Bros. for Switch” in the Smash 4 branding.)
  • Nintendo chose to forgo the transition used at the beginning of every Smash 4 trailer
  • SmashBros.com has been completely started over from scratch
  • The trailer shows only vague outlines of a cast with fewer than 20 characters, not the entire Smash 4 ensemble waiting to welcome the Inklings

It’s really happening. It’s a new console generation, a new Smash Bros. website, a new series of character reveals (who’s staying, who’s leaving, and who’s arriving?)—friends, it’s a new Super Smash Bros. game.

And the cherry on top? 2018.

It seems impossible. How would Nintendo have time to develop a new title from the ground up? The Wii U and 3DS entries only came out during the tail end of 2014.

The answer: The developers probably didn’t start from scratch. For one thing, this new game could very well use the Smash 4 engine. They finally struck the perfect balanced formula that resonated with casual players and eSports alike (not easy), so Sakurai and his team won’t be quick to abandon the engine.

Smash 5 likely won’t launch with a beefy lineup of 50 characters, either. I think the group of brawlers shown in the trailer was deliberately small.

Super Smash Bros. could easily be sold to us as a service. Think of all the popular games these days that add content gradually—the “Splatoon approach,” if you will.

I wouldn’t be surprised to see Smash launch alongside Nintendo’s paid online service in September to help promote the program. I also would not be surprised if Smash, in September, feels like a half a game.

Sakurai could keep the hype train of character reveals steaming along the tracks for—well—years!

P.S. Why didn’t Nintendo save this bombshell announcement for E3? Because it’s going to be the central theme of their booth, and booth decorations are literally impossible to prevent from leaking. We knew about Breath of the Wild and Odyssey before Nintendo decked out their corner of E3 in previous years, and the same will go for Smash this time. The lid is going to be absolutely blown off this game at E3 2018, only months ahead of launch!

Nintendo’s 10 Worst Games Ever Made


You can’t win ’em all. Even the esteemed House of Mario produces some games that end up at the bottom of the barrel. We’re using Metacritic to take a look at Nintendo’s bottom 10 of all time!

“Exit the Premises” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
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March Direct Impressions. Also, SMASH!!!!!!


The March Nintendo Direct dropped on us like a bomb and we’re pretty stoked about it! In fact, Simeon even made the statement “after the Switch, video games can just stop.” He might be on to something! Smash 5 could literally be the best game ever made. –

“Exit the Premises” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
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Luigi’s Balloon World – Lost Kingdom Hunting


Luigi’s Balloon World is here, and it’s Nintendo’s gift to YouTubers! It was seriously a ton of fun to have viewers submit codes so we could try and hunt down your balloons! Some Crew members had extremely clever hiding spots. We’ll have to do this again sometime soon!

“Exit the Premises” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
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Death Squared: Try Not to Die


Death Squared is a new indie game that takes GREAT advantage of the Switch hardware and its natural bent toward casual cooperative affairs. In this title, players must work together and employ good communication and a healthy amount of caution to survive and clear test-chamber-like puzzles. Spoiler: it’s a blast!

“Exit the Premises” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
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Console Wars – Book Review


Console Wars is a hefty historical fiction book written by Blake J. Harris. It documents the rivalry between Nintendo and Sega, who were scrappy combatants in the 16 bit console wars. Scott has read through all 500 pages of the beastly book, and is here to report back on the experience!

“Exit the Premises” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
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What Makes Geno So Special? HUH?!


Geno has a cult following, that’s for sure. This weird wooden wizard gained immense popularity after starring as one of the playable characters in Super Mario RPG. But what makes him so special that fans would still be clamoring for him to become playable in Super Smash Bros. titles to this day? Allow us to consult our resident Geno expert to bring you the best answers.

“Exit the Premises” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
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SHOULD Switch have Virtual Console?


Almost everyone is saying a big, loud, resounding “YES,” Switch needs to have Virtual Console! But Simeon and Scott are both coming at this topic from a different perspective. Before clicking that downvote thumb and leaving a nasty comment, watch the video to the end and see if we present any compelling cases for why Nintendo should abstain from selling their old retro releases to us, once again, on a digital storefront.

“Exit the Premises” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
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Nintendo Making New Switch Peripherals


We selected the BIGGEST news story possible on this *cough* slow *cough* news week. It turns out… Nintendo is actually working on some new peripherals right now! For the Switch! No way, right? Totally unexpected, right? Our minds are blown too.

“Exit the Premises” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
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The Cuphead Influence

Cuphead was one of my favorite games released in 2017. Everything about it I adored. From the 1930 cartoon style visuals right out of the old Fleischer cartoons to the big band jazz ensembles to the cutthroat difficulty, this game has it all. Alas, it’s not on the Switch, or any Nintendo console for that matter, so you may be wondering why it’s appearing here. The reason is I believe that Cuphead would be an amazing fit on the Switch, and I hope it opens the door to other creative talent to hit the Switch in the future. Before you comment, “But Matt, Cuphead will never come to the Switch because Microsoft helped Studio MDHR fund the game”, I’m aware, so please don’t. The focus of this blog is to simply discuss why Cuphead would be a great fit for the Switch and what sets it apart from most other Indie titles.

It doesn’t take one long to figure out that there are a plethora of Indie titles on the Switch. Unfortunately, for me at least, it’s like wading through a dumpster trying to find jewels. I’m not saying that Indie developers should be discouraged from putting games up, nor dissing any one game in particular. But the majority of the games posted seem as though the developer put almost no thought or effort into the art direction, and some of these games even carry a $20 price tag. It baffles me that someone can put time and effort into something they obviously care about, but aren’t willing to go the extra mile to make it great. I know that indie developers have to deal with an extraordinarily reduced budget, and they don’t have a lot of time to work with. I really do get that, but there is no excuse for some of the games I have seen.

Every boss battle is fresh and meticulously crafted

What makes Cuphead stand out? Well, for one, the level of polish is evident. It looks and feels nearly perfect. Never have I thought that I would enjoy playing a 1930’s cartoon so much. Even though it’s old, it’s new. It’s a fresh concept and they took a risk that paid off. Whenever the debate arises whether or not videogames are art (this discussion warrants its own blog), it’s games like Cuphead that I think of.  Next, the difficulty. Yes, to this day, I have over 400 deaths. That is what it took for me to complete my expert run, and not once did I get upset. For every single one, I accounted for a mistake that I made. Once I corrected my mistake, I moved on until I made the next mistake, where I learned and moved on progressively until a boss or level was defeated.

So what is my point? Simply put, Quality > Quantity. I would rather have one game that takes 3 years to complete than 100 games that take 3 months to complete. I’m not saying that all developers need to remortgage their homes, or draw everything frame by frame like the Moldenhauers of Cuphead, but just a little more time on the presentation and polish go a long way. My hope is that Cuphead will encourage developers to try unique art styles and better yet, follow their dreams. Gamers want quality games where passion is oozing out of everything seen on screen. Unfortunately, Cuphead will likely never see the light of day on the Switch, even though it would be a phenomenal addition to a fairly lackluster Indie library. Nonetheless, hopefully game designers are inspired and this will translate into better quality games. Perhaps you agree, or alternately you’ve been eating up the Switch eShop and loving it. That’s fine too. Whatever the case, I think we can all agree that gamers will always appreciate the extra mile. Hopefully Cuphead and Mugman will pave the way for the future, without dealing with the devil.

“Arcade Perfect”

A few months ago, I decided to pick up an Arcade Archives title, Garou: Mark of the Wolves. I was feeling that fighting game itch, and eight bucks didn’t seem like that much scratch. Moreover, I’d never indulged in any of SNK’s classic fighting catalog, so I figured—if nothing else—it’d be an educational experience. So how is it? Arcade Perfect!

And that’s the problem.

For those of you who’re too young to remember when arcades were a big deal—which, come to think of it, largely applies to me as well—”arcade perfect” was a marketing buzzword used to describe home-console ports of arcade games. It meant that nothing was compromised (graphics, music, sound, and so on) when porting the game to consoles. See, arcade machines tended to be a bit beefier than home-consoles, as they weren’t just entertainment but also a business investment for store owners. As to be expected, the term has largely fallen out of use due to the declining relevance of arcades, but still gets thrown around from time to time, especially in arcade compilations like the upcoming Street Fighter collection.

“Arcade perfect” was a marketing buzzword that meant that nothing was compromised when porting the game to consoles.

Ultimately, my biggest gripe with Garou: Mark of the Wolves isn’t a design issue, it’s that the version on the eShop is literally just the arcade version running on an emulator. While there’s nothing wrong with that, per se, it does mean it’s missing many of the features that have been standard in home-ports since before the arcade version was even released. Honestly, it makes me question whether “arcade perfect” is really that good of a benchmark.

First of all, the game doesn’t have a training mode. The only single player content is arcade mode, meaning you have to learn the ins and outs of this game’s mechanics as the computer is mugging you for your (virtual) quarters. This wouldn’t be so bad if the game was a simple, straightforward one-on-one fighting game like Street Fighter 2, but that’s not the case. Garou was released in 1999, meaning it subscribes to the Street Fighter 3 school of design: master the incredibly precise timing of the parries and cancels or be content seeing your opponent’s win quote for the seventeenth time.

The game doesn’t have a training mode: you have to learn the game’s mechanics as the computer is mugging you for your virtual quarters.

Along the same lines is the lack of a proper move list. Granted, the emulator’s menu has a move list for each character, but each combatant only gets a limited amount of space, meaning that isn’t enough space for every move. If you want to know all of a character’s techniques, you’ll need to look up the commands online.

I could go on, but I think I’ve made my point. Of course, I’m looking at this from a modern perspective; what were home-ports like back in 1999? Well, while arcade versions usually had better hardware, the home version gave the developers the opportunity to fine-tune the game and add additional content. New characters weren’t uncommon, and it was standard practice to remix/remaster the soundtrack for the home version: Virtua Fighter 2, the Tekken series, and Garou: Mark of the Wolves itself all had superior sounding music in their respective home-console versions.

I haven't played it, so I can't say whether there's an "insert quarter" button in this version.
More fleshed out versions of the game exist.

Maybe I’m taking the term a bit too literally, but the more I think about, the more I think “arcade perfect” is a pretty flimsy accomplishment. I by no means regret buying Garou: Mark of the Wolves, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the Arcade Archive series, but no matter how good the games or their emulation is, staying 100% true to the originals can leave a game lacking. Ultimately, what’s perfect for the arcades isn’t perfect for the home experience.

Kid Icarus: Remember to Hold “Up”


Kid Icarus was forward thinking for its time, but it never really earned the title of a great game. It’s fun to play for a little bit, but Simeon and Scott will be pointing out some of the game’s glaring shortcomings, and stick around for the end to discover why the NES Classic Edition version is potentially the worst!

“Exit the Premises” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
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Speech Jammer: Smash Bros. Commentary


What do you get when you combine Super Smash Bros. commentary with a couple of crazy dudes using speech jammer apps? You get kind of a crazy fun video, that’s what! Enjoy.

“Exit the Premises” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
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Luigi’s Balloon World – Super Glitchfest!


What do you think about cheaters? How about people who take advantage of exploits in Super Mario Odyssey’s new balloon mode to hide things out of bounds? We’ll discuss all that, and more, in this week’s Nintendo News segment by Two Button Crew.

“Exit the Premises” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
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Celeste: Scaling The Mountain


Celeste is a beautiful new indie game available now on the Switch eShop. In this pixelated platformer, you play as Madeline as you attempt to scale the treacherous Celeste Mountain. With a stunning musical soundtrack, a compelling storyline, and tough platforming challenges, it seems this game might just have it all.

“Exit the Premises” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
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The Most SUPER of METROIDs? (SNES)


Simeon and Scott played Xeodrifter earlier this week, a game which probably wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for Super Metroid. In this SNES Samus outing, we take control of the bounty hunter and explore a mysterious world.

“Exit the Premises” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
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Labo Just Gets Better and Better!


Headlining our Nintendo News segment this week is some huge developments on the Labo front. With the unveiling of Toy-Con Garage, it’s starting to look like there will be no limit to our cardboard creativity come April 20th.

“Exit the Premises” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
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